Wednesday, February 24, 2010
CR Johnson in Seven Sunny Days. Rest In Peace.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
"Let me share this. I can do it any way you want, too -- I can do it funny, or maudlin, or just straight, uninflected -- anything. You tell me. I can do it sad, or isnpirational, or angry. It's all there, all these things at once, so it's up to you -- you choose, you pick. Give me something. Quid pro quo. I promise I will be good. I will be sad and hopeful. I will be the conduit. I will be the beating heart. Please see this! I am the common multiplier for 47 million! I am the perfect amalgam! I was born of both stability and chaos. I have seen nothing and everything. I am twenty-four but feel ten thousand years old. I am emboldened by youth, unfettered and hopeful, though inextricably tied to the past and future by my beautiful brother, who is part of both. Can you not see that we're extraordinary? That we were meant for something else, something more? All this did not happen to us for naught, I can assure you -- there is no logic to that, there is logic only in assuming that we suffered for a reason. Just give us our due. I am bursting with the hopes of a generation, their hopes surge through me, threaten to burst my hardened heart! Can you not see this? I am at once pitiful and monstrous, I know, and this is all my own making, I know -- not the fault of my parents but all my own creation, yes, but I am the product of my environment, and thus representative, must be exhibited, as inspiration and cautionary tale. Can you not see what I represent? I am both a) martyred moralizer and b) amoral omnivor born of the suburban vacuum + idleness + television + Catholicism + alcoholism + violence; I am a freak in secondhand velour, a leper who uses L'Oreal Anti-sticky Mega Gel. I am rootless, ripped from all foundations, an orphan raisingan orphan and wanting to take away everything there is and replace it with stuff I've made. I have nothing but my friends and what's left of my little family. I need community, I need feedback, I need love, connection, give-and-take -- I will bleed if they will love. Let me try. Let me prove. I will pluck my hair, will remove my skin, I will stand before you feeble and shivering. I will open a vein, an artery. Pass over me at your peril! I could die soon. I probably already have AIDS. Or cancer. Something bad will hapen to me, I know, I know this because I have seen it so many times. I will be shot in an elevator. I will be swallowed in a sinkhole, will drown, so I need to bring this message now; I only have so much time, I know that sounds ridiculous, I seem young, healthy, strong, but things happen, I know you may not think so, but things happen to those around me, they truly do, you'll see, so I need to grab this while I can, because I could go at any minute, Laura, Mother, Father, God -- Oh please let me show this to millions. Let me be the lattice, the center of the lattice. Let me be the conduit. There are all these hearts, and mine is strong, if there are -- there are! -- capillaries that bring blood to millions, that we are all of one body and that I am -- Oh, I want to be the heart pumping blood to everyone, blood is what I know, I feel so warm in blood, can swim in blood, oh let me be the strong-beating heart that brings blood to everyone! I want --"
Monday, February 15, 2010
Post holiday season, I found myself in the auspicious position of having some spending money, and wanting to purchase a new camera lens. However, I soon made a dreadful mistake when I ventured onto the Internet seeking advice. What I found on every camera site was fun, and by fun I mean explosive and angry forums. These online contributors were not having civilized conversation on which camera lens was superior, but instead an argument that could easily be compared to guerillas hurling mud at one another. This discovery, then shockingly led me to ponder a potentially serious society wide issue. Why do we passionately defend our choice in consumer goods, and more importantly why do we form such close communities around them?
A few weeks ago, I was riding a chair lift and the man next to me was yelling down his cell phone while seemingly doing his best Kanye West impression, “The company just doesn’t care about the consumer.” Yet, if this statement is seemingly true, then why do so many groups of people seemingly defend their arbitrary consumer goods? I believe that our society, by offering a plethora of choices, creates a little fanboy inside of us. Because a lot of what makes people fanboys, is not how much we love something, but how much we hate something else. For example I could probably tell you in great detail why I have despise the iphone OS, but for why I prefer googles android, despite rambling off some arbitrary numbers, I probably couldn’t come up with a concrete reason. Therefore, I believe we defend our own choices in consumer goods, because with out limited spending money, we have to make a choice, and we subconchesly begin to hate anyone or thing that tells us we made the wrong decision.
Ever since the dawn of modern society, humans have incorporated things outside of them into their identity. We are skiers, Radiohead fans, liberals, and that sense of identity can lead to the formation of a very tight knit community. Now I’m not saying that we need the annualized consumer waste that marketers try and cram down our thoughts. No, we need the sense of belonging, which our modern society is far to devoid of. Because you will be shocked whom you can get along with when you have a common interest.
Now despite the seemingly obvious conclusion to this, I will not end this piece by regurgitating some Fight Club line about how your stuff owns you, because I believe that our world actually needs fanboys. It’s a fact of life that we all want to belong. Despite our best attempts at retaining our so called individuality, at the end of the day we all need to know we are a part of something larger then ourselves, and indeed other people care for us. So if these pseudo communities can indeed unite people in a common hatred, then it should be encouraged. Yes, the last thing our world needs is more hatred, but if that abhorrence can lead to unity and love, it is ultimately for the better. Hell, if people hated world hunger as much as Yankees, image what could be accomplished.
My mind is a slave to the florescent cage
No howling wind, no beating sun, no history beneath my feet
Just an ornamented torture chamber
Salvaging my body, but ravishing my spirit
Lured inside this cavern of deceit
Billboard harass my vision
Promise me a perfect body
Guarantee me a perfect soul
Plastic figurines showcasing perceived perfection
However, those mannequins are not the dolls
We are the dolls in the dollhouse
Controlled, manipulated, abused
We are unwittingly slaves to an imperceptible cycle.
What am I doing here?