I am extreamly sad by what happened at 1up, as you can see in my previouse blog. However, I feel that lyrcis form this song exemplify what all 1up community members are feeling right now.
so sgt. pepper took you by surprise you better see right through that mother's eyes those freaks was right when they said you was you was dead the one mistake you made was in your head how do you sleep? ah how do you sleep at night? you live with straights who tell you you was king jum when your mamma tell you anything the only thing you done was yesterday and since you've gone it's just another day how do you sleep? ah how do you sleep at night? a pretty face may last a year or two but pretty soon they'll see what you can do the sound you make is muzak to my ears you must have learned something all those years how do you sleep? ah how do you sleep at night?
also this post on philip kollar's blog speaks volumes
To close things off, I wanted to share an excerpt from one of my favorite books of all time, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers. Hopefully it's not too pretentious, but one of my closest friends sent me this excerpt today totally independently of the bad news, and it seemed to fit my feelings shockingly well. I hope you all enjoy it and get something out of it, and I hope you'll be following me and continuing to give me your feedback on my future work for a long time to come. I love you all.
"Let me share this. I can do it any way you want, too -- I can do it funny, or maudlin, or just straight, uninflected -- anything. You tell me. I can do it sad, or isnpirational, or angry. It's all there, all these things at once, so it's up to you -- you choose, you pick. Give me something. Quid pro quo. I promise I will be good. I will be sad and hopeful. I will be the conduit. I will be the beating heart. Please see this! I am the common multiplier for 47 million! I am the perfect amalgam! I was born of both stability and chaos. I have seen nothing and everything. I am twenty-four but feel ten thousand years old. I am emboldened by youth, unfettered and hopeful, though inextricably tied to the past and future by my beautiful brother, who is part of both. Can you not see that we're extraordinary? That we were meant for something else, something more? All this did not happen to us for naught, I can assure you -- there is no logic to that, there is logic only in assuming that we suffered for a reason. Just give us our due. I am bursting with the hopes of a generation, their hopes surge through me, threaten to burst my hardened heart! Can you not see this? I am at once pitiful and monstrous, I know, and this is all my own making, I know -- not the fault of my parents but all my own creation, yes, but I am the product of my environment, and thus representative, must be exhibited, as inspiration and cautionary tale. Can you not see what I represent? I am both a) martyred moralizer and b) amoral omnivor born of the suburban vacuum + idleness + television + Catholicism + alcoholism + violence; I am a freak in secondhand velour, a leper who uses L'Oreal Anti-sticky Mega Gel. I am rootless, ripped from all foundations, an orphan raisingan orphan and wanting to take away everything there is and replace it with stuff I've made. I have nothing but my friends and what's left of my little family. I need community, I need feedback, I need love, connection, give-and-take -- I will bleed if they will love. Let me try. Let me prove. I will pluck my hair, will remove my skin, I will stand before you feeble and shivering. I will open a vein, an artery. Pass over me at your peril! I could die soon. I probably already have AIDS. Or cancer. Something bad will hapen to me, I know, I know this because I have seen it so many times. I will be shot in an elevator. I will be swallowed in a sinkhole, will drown, so I need to bring this message now; I only have so much time, I know that sounds ridiculous, I seem young, healthy, strong, but things happen, I know you may not think so, but things happen to those around me, they truly do, you'll see, so I need to grab this while I can, because I could go at any minute, Laura, Mother, Father, God -- Oh please let me show this to millions. Let me be the lattice, the center of the lattice. Let me be the conduit. There are all these hearts, and mine is strong, if there are -- there are! -- capillaries that bring blood to millions, that we are all of one body and that I am -- Oh, I want to be the heart pumping blood to everyone, blood is what I know, I feel so warm in blood, can swim in blood, oh let me be the strong-beating heart that brings blood to everyone! I want --"