The 25 Things You Learn At Medieval Times

The 25 Things You Learn At Medieval Times

25. Under no circumstances should you ever go to Medieval Times.

24. You cheer for you knight, just because he isn't blind.

23. Our knight likes to poke under aged girls with his very firm jousting stick.

22. The dance party after the show is always poppin.

21. Every villain during this time period sounded like Hades from the animated Hercules movie.

20. Under no circumstances should you ever go to Medieval Times.

19. Dragon Soup is not an appealing name.

18. The dialogue in the show is incomprehensible on two fronts. It is terribly written and impossible to hear.

17. Yellow needs to seriously calm the fuck down.

16. Knights have a tendency to break character with very 21st century fist bumps.

15. My sassy bi friend has a thing for the blue knight.

14. Note from sassy bi friend: That bitch totally stole my flower.

13. The princess is totally a part time stripper.

12. Knights are always ready to fight over the previously mentioned part time stripper.

11. There is a character named Bastard Falco...I think?

10. Under no circumstances should you ever go to Medieval Times.

9. It is 2010, eating with utensils is kind of a standard now.

8. Buena Park is broken Spanish for good park.

7. Plagiarizing (Inspired?) music is OK, but only if you change a few notes.

6. The special effects budget was large enough to include fake snow...and a red light.

5. The black knight looks like a chess piece from Harry Potter.

4. Speaking of black, is the token black character not being black a hate crime?

3. The plot development in the show happens way to quickly. Characterization needs to continue past colors.

2. This is where struggling LA actors go to pay rent.

1. People go to Medieval Times for their honeymoon. I wish I was joking.