Dr. Doom Rules The Day

Around 2pm on Tuesday afternoon, The League Of Associated Super Villains organized a parade in New York City to celebrate the retirement of the Human Torch from crime fighting. Torch, who's real name is Jonathan Lowell Spencer "Johnny" Storm, said in a prepared statement that the early retirement was due to him not being able to procure health insurance from any of the major carriers. Storm articulated his point further on his blog when he stated in a post entitled "Why I Quit Saving The World," "I have a family now, and every night I have this dream. My wife and I joke that we shouldn't talk about it, but in this dream I die. I suit up, meet up with my fellow fantastics, and engage in regular crime fighting activities. However, by the end of the fight I am always mortally injured. I can't put my family through that anymore." When asked to comment on this development, Dr. Doom said, "Wahaha."