Barbie is a lady, a lady of perfection. She skis, swims, and teachers underprivileged children. She also has a perfect relationship, and wears copious amounts of J. Crew. When Barbie goes to parties she is the center of attention. Barbie is never lonely, frustrated, or upset. Girls the world over need a role model, why not Barbie?
When Barbie goes to the beach, she always applies enough SPF 70 to avoid ugly freckles. Her motivation for caring for her skin comes from when a slightly overweight doctor once told her that, "No one loves a girl with melanoma."
Barbie always wanted to go to med school, but upon realizing that scrubs do nothing for your ass, she decided to instead double major in fashion design and perfect cleavage. Business Barbie is the perfect gift for a young lady.
Barbie is the maid of honor at her friend Stephanie's wedding. An ugly rumor once circulated that Ken and Stephanie were fucking like bunnies. However, Barbie doesn't listen to stupid talk, and instead, is blindly loyal to her man. Because really, what is more important than love and friendship? Barbie sometimes takes the long way home, sits in a field, and doesn't know what to feel. Her heart is plastic, but only on a bad day. Wedding Barbie is the perfect gift for a young lady.
When Barbie goes shopping, she only buys clothes in a size zero. Because zero rhythms with hero, and every young lady needs a role model. When Barbie wears clothes she occasionally feels like a princess trapped in a castle, patiently awaiting for Ken to set her free, but Ken is too busy fucking Stephanie. Allegedly. Shopping Barbie is the perfect gift for a young lady.
When Barbie goes waterskiing she occasionally likes to drink. On the rare occasion that Barbie gets inebriated, she tends to jump out of the boat and lay on her back in the center of the lake, crying. Barbie doesn't know why she cries, but her psychiatrist believes it may be due to emotional trauma or eating too much food. Probably the latter. When there is a storm, Barbie especially likes to cry in the lake while watching the lighting hit nearby trees. Secretly hoping that a lighting bolt will strike her, acting as a proverbial shotgun blast, and bring her back to life. Waterskiing Barbie is the perfect gift for a young lady.
Barbie likes to sing, and on occasion, dance, when in the shower. However, she has a tendency to fall down, and when Ken finds her the next morning, she has no recollection of how she got the bruises. Pop Star Barbie is the perfect gift for a young lady.
Barbie wants to dream, but she is unable to. Her friends talk about what they dream of, comparing theories, trading stories. These same friends also age. Time will not take a hold of Barbie. It refuses. Barbie realises she shouldn't speak of this, so she doesn't. Instead she smiles. When Barbie can't smile anymore, she remembers to look towards the night's sky and count her lucky stars. However, when Barbie tries to do this, she sees no stars, only plastic wrapping.